September 2008, shortly after Edie's Baptism.

What is Leadership? Ideas from reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations

While coming out of a recent backpacking trip in the Uinta Wilderness, my 15 year-old son, Andrew, discovered the art of leadership as he tried to convince his little 4 year old sister, Hannah, to keep walking the rough and rocky ten miles back to the car. He was excited to tell me of his discovery; “A leader is not someone who is just at the front of the line, but someone who can do what it takes to convince people to move along. A leader can even be at the back of the line if need be!”

Leadership is the art of influencing a group of people to reach a common goal. There are many groups that teach the art and skill of becoming a leader, but art and skill are not the only things we should study in order to lead. We should strengthen character and obtain moral courage to bring virtue into society. Leadership involves the very core of our character. Some of society’s greatest leaders have been ordinary men and women who continually sought improvement in their moral character. Among such Men and women were Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Corrie ten Boom, George Washington, and Thomas Jefferson. In Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary a leader is “one who goes first.” The definition suggests that leadership is the art of showing the way, improving oneself first before trying to improve another.

In his book, Meditations, Marcus Aurelius reminds us of the good moral values that we must seek to obtain if we are to lead others. This blog-post will discuss three values and their application. They are self-mastery, love and truth.

Self Mastery

Self-mastery may be the hardest of the virtues because it requires us to recognize that we must change. That is a humbling position that demands remembrance of all our defects, imperfections and weaknesses. Human nature teaches us that we blame our shortcomings on our neighbor. Aurelius teaches that when we remove our judgment placed on another, we do not feel the hurt we once did.

When another wrongs me, what is that to me? Really it should not matter. They have their own disposition and their own actions. I also have my own disposition and my own actions. Self-mastery is a virtue that involves improving our moral character. No one can do that for us and we cannot do it for anyone else. An example comes to mind of my relationship with a friend. For the past several years I have looked mostly at her shortcomings. We humans think that criticizing others will somehow result in a change. But, what kind of change, surely it is a change for the worse. Her faults were things that I couldn’t control. If I were to gain self-mastery, I would only be able to control my own actions, not hers. During a recent visit, a tough situation arose and I again found fault. Things went awry, causing me to question if I really wanted to go down that path again. I knew that I should change my attitude and see the genius in her – see that she was a “potential Goddess” as C.S. Lewis would say. The shift was slow, but when I changed, I felt love for her and pity for her faults. The anger was gone. I had made a change in myself and stopped thinking that I could make a change in her.


With self-mastery the focus is on those things over which I have power. Many are the virtues that I have the power to exercise. So why ignore the virtues and desire only to be revered for the talents that I think people should notice? For instance, when I visit my childhood home I am not admired for my intellect, but I am admired for my hard work and organizational skills. Because of this I live up to the expectation and keep the house clean and picked up. Much of the time I allow it to bother me, and wonder why I should pick up after everyone. Begrudgingly, I begin to conquer the jumble, muddle and chaos. As always I receive praise for this and the cycle continues. I would like to be praised for my heart or be praised for my good example or for my knowledge, but why am I not? Perhaps, it is because I am so caught up in the trap of trying to please according to what they think of me, rather than focusing on the virtues that will help me master self.

Marcus Aurelius says the virtues that are, “wholly in [my] power – [are] integrity, dignity, hard work, self-denial, contentment, frugality, kindness, independence, simplicity, discretion, magnanimity.” In focusing on these virtues of which I have the power, I could then be and feel worthy of being useful in the world.

Love

Once we are on the path to mastering ourselves, we will want to develop a deep and influential love for mankind. Aurelius tells us to accept “and love these people among whom destiny has cast [us] – but [our] love must be genuine.” People will always be a part of our lives. Most of our greatest joys and trials come because of our dealings with other people. When dealing with difficult situations you say, ‘I will just ignore that person, or get revenge…that will teach them!’ This will only make matters worse. Aurelius warns us that, “The best revenge is not to be like your enemy”, but that we must genuinely love them even when it is difficult. I had a neighbor that loved to complain. She sought me out on a regular basis just to complain about her lot in life. When I realized her agenda I began to feel abused. Instead of showing love, I let anger and frustration build up and one day I blew up right in front of her. Several years later and much wiser than before, another opportunity arose. This time another friend loved to gossip. I recognized her agenda and made plans to practice genuine love towards her by listening to her heart. In validating her feelings, I wasn’t expressing that I agreed with her, but that I believed what she was feeling was difficult for her. I know that she could feel the genuine love coming from my heart because her response was usually a recognition that she ought to start accepting the persons she was gossiping about. When I showed genuine love, she sought change in herself.

Truth

Aurelius instills in us the motive of life: “Let one thing be your joy and comfort: to move on from social act to social act with your mind on God.” With our mind on God, assuredly we will find truth and the “Truth shall make us free.” (John 8:32) Is it any wonder why many of the great men and women had this thing in common? They were all lovers of Truth. With their mind on God they sought the truth in all things.

In seeking truth we may find ourselves back in our quest to self-mastery. Much of our truth seeking can literally bring us down to the depths of humility as we change what we once saw as truth to the real truth. On the other hand, if we have made a decision that we are going to master ourselves and continually improve, it will be inevitable that we will find truth. Marcus Aurelius gives us the perfect example of the kind of attitude we must employ in truth seeking, “if someone can prove me wrong and show me my mistake in any thought or action, I shall gladly change. I seek the truth, which never harmed anyone: the harm is to persist in one’s own self-deception and ignorance.”

A personal example of truth seeking happened a few weeks ago when after submitting a paper for my college class; it came back with many suggestions on improving it. I realized that I had not taken the time to really seek the truths that would make this paper most convincing. It was devoid of important principles needed to satisfy the subject. Because I desired a paper with substance, I set out to fill it with clear and true principles. It required much more work than I had imagined, but once finished it was transformational to me, full of significance and validity.

By seeking and developing these principles; self-mastery, love and truth we have the tools to be able to govern our impulses and actions. This act of governing our behavior will indeed strengthen character and bestow the moral courage necessary to lead others. Says Aurelius, “It is the gentle [leader] who [has] strength, sinew, and courage.” He also affirms that when it comes to leadership, the closer we are to the control of our emotions, the closer we are to power. Leadership is about first and foremost “becoming great”, and then “showing” the way.

Talk given at Grandpa Rex's Funeral on September 8, 2008

Like all of you, I have accumulated many memories of Grandpa Rex and when I recall those memories, they make up a very useful and often enjoyable part of my consciousness.  At the time of death, we "remember" those things that are dear to us.   Today I want to speak of a more profound role of memory that of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Marlin K. Jensen said, "If we pay close attention to the uses of the word remember in the holy scriptures, we will recognize that remembering in the way God intends is a fundamental and saving principle of the gospel.  This is so because prophetic admonitions to remember are frequently calls to action: to listen, to see, to do, to obey, and to repent.  When we remember in God's way, we overcome our human tendency simply to gird for the battle of life and actually engage in the battle itself, doing all in our power to resist temptation and avoid sinning."

I would like to share one such "remembrance" with you today.  One day as I was reading in the Book of Mormon about how Father Lehi gave blessings to his children and grandchildren I longed for such a blessing and called Grandpa Rex to ask him if he would bless me.  A couple of months later I sat in his living room and learned as he taught about the Creation, the Fall, and the Atoning sacrifice of our Savior.  Later during the blessing, I was taught further, when he blessed me to understand more fully the Creation, the Fall and the Atonement.  He testified of their truthfulness and the important role they play in the Plan of Salvation.

Grandpa taught me more deeply about the Creation by testifying that the earth was not created from nothing; it was organized from existing matter and created by Christ under the direction of the Father.  The Creation of the Earth was essential to God's plan.  It provided a place where we could gain a physical body, be tested and tried, and develop divine attributes.

He expounded upon the science of the earth: the geology of the rock formations, the role of our beautiful plants that cover the earth, and the animals.  He instilled in me a desire to use the earth's resources with wisdom, judgement and thanksgiving.

Adam was the first man created on earth.  In the book of Genesis we understand that "God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." (Gen. 1:27)

In the Garden of Eden, God commanded Adam and Eve not to partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil; the consequence of doing so would be spiritual and physical death.  Spiritual death is separation from God.  Physical death is the separation of the spirit from the mortal body.

Because Adam and Eve transgressed and partook of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil,  they were cast out from the presence of the Lord—they experienced spiritual death.  They also became mortal—subject to physical death.  As descendants of Adam and Eve, we inherit a fallen condition during mortality, in which we are tested by the difficulties of life and the temptations of the adversary.  Unfortunately, we do not always choose the right, and we know from the scriptures that "no unclean thing can enter into His Kingdom" (3 Nephi 27:19 and Ephesians 5:5)

King Benjamin teaches "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."  Mosiah 3:19)

The Fall is an integral part of Heavenly Father's plan of salvation.  It has a twofold direction—downward yet forward.  In addition to introducing physical and spiritual death, it gave us the opportunity to be born on the earth and to learn and progress.

Once we understand the doctrine of the Fall, we can understand the Atonement.  The prophet, Jacob of the Book of Mormon taught that we can repent of our sins and become saved and that the "way is prepared from the fall of man, and salvation is free."

Why is salvation free?  Salvation is a gift after we have expended our best efforts.  We are saved by grace, not by our own accomplishments.  In his words, Jacob teaches, "Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth…Wherefore, how great the importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of the earth, that they may know that there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah,  who layeth down his life according to the flesh, and taketh it again by the power of the Spirit, that he may bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, being the first that should rise."  Jacob then exhorts his brethren to believe in Christ because those that "believe in Him shall be saved." (2 Nephi 2:6, 8-9)

In the book of Deuteronomy I counted over 35 times when the Lord promised abundant blessings upon the children of Israel if they would only love and obey the Lord.  Moses exhorts, "And now Israel, what doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him and to serve the Lord they God with all thy heart and with all they soul, to keep the commandments of the Lord, and his statutes."  The same is asked of each of us today: that we love and obey him that we may partake of the blessings of the Atonement. 

In studying Deuteronomy I have found a fulfillment in the sixth chapter, verse 7 where Moses charges Israel to "teach [the commandments] diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down and when thou risest up."

As I sat in Grandpa's living room, I knew he understood that scripture.  How did he understand it?  He was causing me to "remember" the precious Plan of Salvation.  Coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him is the ultimate purpose of all remembering.

I testify of the truthfulness of the Plan of Salvation, of the Creation, the Fall and the divine Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  I add my testimony to Moroni who invites us to "Come unto Christ, and be perfected in Him, and deny [our]selves of all ungodliness; and if [we] shall deny [our]selves of all ungodliness, and love God with all [our] might, mind and strength, then is His grace sufficient for [us], that by His grace [we] may be perfect in Christ."  (Moroni 10:32)  In the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Edie playing over at Cousin Grace's house in the summer…

Temple Dedication

What a privilege it was to sing in our new Twin Falls Temple dedication.  Here is our choir just after singing in the second session.