Summary of The Choice, by The Arbinger Institute

The Choice, by the Arbinger Institute is a refreshing new approach to self-betterment. It puts the responsibility back onto the right person, ourselves. The authors attribute our responsiveness to others or our desire to serve others as the deepest sense of what is right. When we feel to assist another and follow through we are showing responsiveness. When we resist the feeling to help others, we betray ourselves and become resistant.

The book is founded upon our view of how we see people. When we are responsive, we see others as people and when we are resistant we see them as objects. Seeing others as people we are seeing them truly and thus we are true to ourselves. Perceiving others as objects we are resistant to their reality and see them falsely, consequently we are false.

Seeing others falsely, we resist them, thus we do wrong, then we seek to be justified, then we begin to see “a world that makes the wrong seem right.” The consequences are numerous when we are resistant. We find fault and place blame on others; self-betrayal magnifies others’ problems; seeing falsely we walk in darkness; and finally we become consumed with self.

The authors touch on some widely accepted behavioral views such as Psychodynamic Tradition, behaviorism, humanism, and cognitive theory teaching that they all have one thing in common: helping people to cope in a resistant, self-betrayal state. Their response to these popular views is that we must change to be responsive and that the only way to change from resistant to responsive is to forget ourselves in the service to others.